Downs With Ups

This is a continuation of my previous post about my deliberations of sending Poppet to a special school…

In the early years of Poppet’s primary schooling, I had little doubt that she was in the best place.  However, as she got older and that silly old gap (between what an average kid can do and Poppet), got wider, small niggles of doubt started to surface.  These became more prevalent over the past two years, since I’ve finally been able to understand my daughter’s behaviour.

We’ve been fortunate with our school, which is why it’s so difficult to contemplate moving her.  The school population is around 250 students, which is a small size when compared to others.  The school community has been accepting of Poppet.  There is a great deal of support from the Principal and the teachers and aides have all been willing to work with Poppet to bring out her best.

I’d like to think that Poppet benefits from attending a mainstream school, in that she is challenged academically and yet, even as I write these words, I realise that she could be challenged academically at a special school too.

So what are the benefits now of keeping Poppet at a mainstream school?  I must say, I find it difficult to name any, other than she is part of a community.  I guess this is a good thing.  She is being accepted in a mainstream environment.  Isn’t this expected though, these days?  People like Poppet are supposed to be included, rather than being shut away.   (The reality though is quite different and I’ll talk about this another time).

Do the regular children at school benefit from having Poppet in their class?  I wonder.  Does it really make them more tolerant?  More accepting?  If birthday party invitations were anything to go by, then one could argue that Poppet isn’t at all accepted, (these stopped two years ago).  If friendships were anything to go by, then again, it could be said that she isn’t included.  Poppet has only ever been invited to someone’s house for a play date once in her entire school history, and that was when she was in Prep.

There is a fine line between acceptance and full inclusion and I’m not sure inclusion is possible in a mainstream environment.  Our family is an oddity, an exception to the norm, and Poppet’s needs and behaviours sometimes clash with what is acceptable, especially at school.  Inclusion is truly difficult, especially during break times for reasons I’ve already pointed out, in my previous post.  I can’t help but think that if she were to go to a special school, such behaviours wouldn’t be the exception because she would be with other children who also had similar issues.

There would be other benefits too I believe, of sending her to a special school.  If she were to go to such a place, there would be children there with whom she could start friendships, given they would function at similar levels.  There would also be other children who would need assistance at lunchtime; joining in, whatever games or sports that were offered would be appropriate.

There are many pros and cons for either option and it’s difficult to determine the best course of action.  I guess it all comes down to Poppet’s happiness.  She used to be very happy going to school.  Nowadays there are more mornings than not when I virtually have to push her out the door.  I know she is lonely and lacks a social network, but would moving her to a special school one year before she starts secondary schooling be the best choice?  I wonder.