Downs With Ups

Well, wouldn’t you know? Things sometimes are simply taken out of your control and you just have to go with the options left available to you. In this case, I’m talking about Poppet’s secondary schooling.

After my partner and I met with the special needs co-ordinator at our local mainstream secondary school, (to which Poppet is zoned), my partner decided he didn’t feel the school would be able to handle her special needs, so he was naturally disappointed. At last, an option was removed, for I too didn’t believe this was the best school for Poppet for a number of reasons as I’ve written about in ‘Clayton’s Choices, (http://downswithups.com/2014/08/).

My preference for Poppet was another mainstream secondary school, (out of our zone), which I believed offered superior opportunities and they seemed enthusiastic about having her attend the school. However, they had reached their quota of students for 2015, which excluded Poppet. Yet another option closed.

This left us with either the special development school (SDS) or the special school (SS). As I’ve written about in the past, Poppet, according to the bureaucratic processes and tests, would normally be assigned to an SDS. However, the SS in our zone offered her a place, even though she doesn’t meet all their criteria.

Up until this week, I had reservations about Poppet attending the SS. As they rarely have students with Down syndrome, (“…they usually go to an SDS,” I was told), I didn’t believe they would have the knowledge to help Poppet achieve her maximum potential. I formed this view after several conversations I’d had with some of the staff at the SS.

To differentiate our experiences between the SS and the SDS, I would have opted for the SDS following our two meetings with its principal. He was going to set up a class for high performing students, in which he believed Poppet would be the “star”. This was a great idea I believed, for it would mean that Poppet would be with peers with whom she shared similar intellectual and academic capabilities, instead of being with children who have multiple and comparatively more severe disabilities.

I also felt that this man was progressive in what he was trying to achieve with the school to help his students “get out of sheltered workshops and into the world.”

Our experiences with the SDS were exceptional, compared to the fact that we weren’t even introduced to the principal at the SS and when I raised some of the ideas we had to help Poppet with the transition to the SS, I received a flat out ‘no’.

One idea we had was for her current integration aide to take Poppet to the new school for half an hour or so at different times of the day over a period of a few weeks. Her current school was prepared to factor this into their timetabling, which was wonderfully supportive.  Through these visits, Poppet would become familiar with things like hearing the bell ring, seeing the bigger kids about, meeting some of the key staff with whom she’d interact and getting used to the layout of the school.

“We couldn’t have that,” I was advised. “We have 40 new students starting next year. We couldn’t do that for all of them.”

Alarm bells rang for me. This person clearly didn’t understand how much support Poppet would need making the transition to this new school and way of life. I also received lukewarm response to my suggestion that I’d like to visit the school again, so that I might take photos to go towards making a picture storybook, a sort of a ‘day in the life of’ book. This would include travel to and from the school, pictures of her teachers and classrooms, the library, the toilets and other important aspects of the school.

“Aren’t you a wonderful mother?” I was told, after I’d described my idea.

“Well, I know that Poppet is going to need some time to adjust and we can help her prepare to a point, during the school holidays. That way, she won’t become distressed and you won’t have to manage any resistant behaviour,” I replied, thinking, why would this be seen as so special? Wouldn’t all their students need help?

As I wrote in ‘Even More About Schooling, (http://downswithups.com/even-more-about-schooling/), when I asked if I could travel with Poppet for the first couple of days on the school bus, to help her become familiar with the process, I once again received a ‘no’.  There’s no way Poppet is going to get on a strange bus, with a strange driver and a bunch of strange kids and I’m actually glad about this. I want her to be suspicious of people, to a point; that way, she’ll be somewhat protected from those predators out there.

What I was being offered by way of orientation, was a half day for Poppet to attend (without me), and a couple of hours at an information night. I just didn’t think that was sufficient.

Still, my partner and I thought the SS would be the better of the two options left for us, (even with my reservations). In many respects, I feel relieved and am pleased that Poppet knows where she is going so she can talk with her school peers about next year with certainty.

PS When I rang the SDS to thank the principal for his support in helping us make the decision, I was advised he’d moved to a new school. If Poppet had attended that school, she wouldn’t have benefited from his energy and vision anyway. Another option gone.