Downs With Ups

Here’s the second post about two-year old Poppet, as promised.  Once again, I’ve used some of my journal entries to tell the story.

At some stage, we’d been told that the difference between kids with Down syndrome and regular kids would become more noticeable as they grew older.  It turns out this was an accurate observation, although at the age of two, there were only two main differences that were we noticed: Poppet started walking when she was almost three and toilet training was around the same time.

(I need to point out that I rarely compare Poppet to other children, even children with Down syndrome.  I learned the hard way that this is a demoralising and unfair thing to do.  When Poppet was in Grade 2, I had an enormous shock when her teacher showed me some of the work the children had completed.  I looked at Poppet’s work, which was quite below standard.  It was heartbreaking, this first realisation about what it meant to have Down syndrome and I promised myself then to only focus on Poppet’s achievements and her attitude towards her learning.)

For the most part though, when Poppet was two, we were able to blend in with the world easily.  I was mostly content, although there was always an underlying current of conflicting emotions.

6 December 2003

There was a young woman on the bus today.  She was wearing bright coloured clothes and looked quite funky.  At first glance, I noticed there was something different about her.  She had Down syndrome.  On the other side of the aisle, three schoolgirls were looking at her, talking softly to each other and giggling.  They were obviously poking fun at the young woman.  My guts, my heart were being ripped apart.  As I watched her, she displayed some behaviours that indicated she was in a world of her own and wasn’t aware of the other girls.  As I looked at her, all I could think of was my little Poppet.  Luckily, the girls got off at the next stop; otherwise, I would have said something to them, something nasty.

I’m the sort of person who will seek out specific information or direction only when I need it.  This was how I approached Poppet’s health and development at this age (and still do).  From the early days though, I knew that people with Down syndrome tend to have many more health complications than average people.  Their immune system is weaker, for example and it’s not uncommon for people with Down syndrome to have hearing and eyesight issues too.

Because of this, my partner and I chose to minimise Poppet’s health risks as much as we could and enlisted the help of specialists.  In addition to her paediatrician, these people included a podiatrist, a dietician, an ophthalmologist and an audiologist.  (A year later, we also started to see a speech therapist.)

Starting the relationship with specialists early was important because they were able to a) identify any issues Poppet may have been experiencing and b) help us to introduce therapies or activities that would improve Poppet’s chances of development.  (We’ve been seeing these people regularly for almost 11 years.  They now have very strong connections with Poppet, and with us.)

Mum spent a lot of time with Poppet at this age.  She focussed a great deal on Poppet’s gross motor skills development.  Mum and Dad’s house was often filled with strange-looking gadgets, such as a great big blue dish that looked like an upside down spinning top.  The objective was to sit Poppet inside the dish, which would wobble until she made it balance with her body weight.  As Poppet hadn’t yet learned how to ‘cross over’, (that is being able to reach across her body), she hadn’t learned how to balance properly, (and in fact didn’t until she was about 10).  This exercise helped her develop the muscle strength needed to balance herself.

Poppet also started to go to early intervention at this age, which was conducted by an organisation called EPIC.  EPIC provided a program that incorporated specialist teaching, speech pathology, occupational therapy and physiotherapy for children with a developmental delay.  We learned a great deal from the staff at EPIC, who worked every day with children like Poppet.

4 May 2004

Poppet loves being with Grannan, (my mother), and Mum loves being with Poppet.  I wonder sometimes though if Mum isn’t being too driven when it comes to helping Poppet grow and is missing ‘just being’ with her.  When Poppet was born, Mum was emphatic when she said to me that she was going to have an active involvement in her education.  Well this has certainly panned out.  I’m glad Mum has the input from the people at EPIC.  It gives her some structure I think.  I’m looking forward to the day when I can stop working and start getting involved in these sorts of things too.

At the advice of her podiatrist, we’d buy special shoes that were high over Poppet’s ankles.  Even though she hadn’t started to walk, they gave her greater stability when she stood up and toddled about.  If the shoes had laces, I’d replace them with bright, funky ribbons.

10 September 2004

I can’t wait for Poppet to start walking.  She’s really close.  She just needs to find the motivation to do it now, I think.  She loves dancing to music, which she does just standing in one spot and bobbing up and down.  I can’t wait.

In many ways, Poppet was just like any other two-year old and was starting to develop her own personality in response to her environment, the people she met and her family.

4 March 2004

We’re at a beach house in Somers.  Poppet is watching an episode of Maisey Mouse.  We’ve been up since 7.30 am.  Instead of me getting her up, Poppet came to me in my bed this morning.  She crawled out of her bed, down the hall, stood up at my bed and giggled.  This was a first and a great way to start the day.

Yes, the age of two was a lovely time.  Poppet was a happy and content little girl (and still is, mostly).  Yes, she had her moments of ‘melt down’, but she also had her moments of glory, as a developing young child.

I wrote this post and the previous one for Nicole, who has a little two-year old boy with Down syndrome.  I hope this gives you some idea as to how it was for us.  All the effort you put in now is absolutely worth it and all the love you have for your little boy will only grow stronger.