Downs With Ups

Each weekday, Poppet follows the same routine before going to school.  We have our breakfast together, then she usually gets dressed in my room with me.  On most days when we have plenty of time, we usually play a song or two before getting dressed.  I have lots of dance tracks on my ‘phone to which Poppet loves to dance.  After the songs, she is usually buoyed by the music and happy to put on her school uniform.

“Come on,” I said this morning.  “It’s time to start getting dressed.”

As I reached for the ‘phone, she grabbed it and threw it to the end of the bed.  She wasn’t ready to move on to the next task.

Poppet isn’t aware of the pressure I feel most mornings to get her out the door.  I prefer things to go smoothly and prefer that Poppet keeps moving.  She’s very easily distracted and will turn her attention to something far more interesting like playing with her guinea pig than brushing her teeth or packing her school bag.  This unreliable behavior causes me to feel quite tense.  Add to this tension, rude behaviour and I’m ready to snap.

I glared at her and she glared back at me.

“Put the phone in my hand, Poppet,” I said briskly.

I could see the defiance in her face.  She picked up the ‘phone and put it beside my hand on the bed, not wanting to conform.  I was irked by this behaviour.

“I don’t want you taking your bad mood out on me, thank you,” I said.

“I’m not,” she replied grumpily, as she slowly started to pull on her socks.

Once dressed, she stomped off to the bathroom to do her teeth and hair.  Normally, she’d then come back for one more song and a dance before putting on her shoes, grabbing her bag, then walking out the door around 8.50 am.

Not today.  She went to the bathroom, then went to her room and put on her shoes.  She walked past my room where I was still tidying up and went to collect her bag.

Following her out, I said I wanted us to hug because I didn’t want her to go to school with us each being cross with each other.  So we hugged.  Well, I did.  She put her arms around me, dutifully.

She went and got her bag.  “I’m going to school” she huffed.  It was 8.36 am.  I gave her a kiss goodbye and her dad walked her to the door.  “Bye,” she said and walked off.  My irritation has since given way to introspection.

She’s growing up.  Der.  I know that.  This morning’s effort has shown me she’s now starting to think for herself.  Previously, I’ve been worried that because her life is so controlled, independence would be out of her reach.  Her life is controlled to keep her safe, help her learn, move daily life along and to protect her from harm.   There is a fine balance between allowing her independence and protecting her.  Today she showed that she is thinking for herself and taking the initiative to achieve the things she wants, even if it’s making a statement towards me, in anger.  Good for her.